πŸ’ΈπŸ’–

Don’t have much to say cause my life been pretty busy .. Working so hard, going hard for me and mines. Working all hours cause mommy gotta make sure she’s fine. Doing it on my own and it feels more than amazing. Gotta be strong can’t go getting lazy. Daddy ain’t home so it’s all up to me now. Had to get grown, got responsibilities now and someone who needs me more than I know. My baby girl is so smart growing up right, I told that everything will be just fine. I look at her beautiful face, have me feeling so amazed. Look at what I created, pretty little baby. Have to do everything right so she can never be wrong. 

Now we both growing strong. We helped each other move past on. She took me to my greatest. My only motivation.

πŸ’ΈπŸ’–

And still I live ..

Just wrote this because i needed to vent , I swear pen and paper are my only friends πŸ˜ͺ 
– I wake everyday trying to find a place to escape. 

Overwhelmed, so alone. My thoughts be processing so slow. 

Got a lot to live for, so much to pick and choose. At the end of the day I always pick you. 

Depression is a bitch crazy how it just sneaks up on you, and take over your life and all the sudden you just don’t feel right. But not me, because I’m as used to it as I can be. 

Many factors to this equation can never let go of this situation. 

I try to mend my broken life all because of you. 

When I pick you, I choose life.

Even though I may never seem to get it right. 

Even if I can’t find happiness for myself, fuck all that I choose wealth.

Chasing that bag everyday, for what you need to make sure you can be as happy as you can be. 

I might be scared, sad and broken. But with you I’m home.

That’s why I don’t leave how can I be guaranteed, that you will be great ? That you will be strong. Who’s gonna help you move on? I can’t be so selfish and do you wrong. And still I live because of you, your love blinds me from the sad truth.

And still I live ..

She’s my obsession 😍 God really has blessed me since the day i found out I had you in my belly. Like how can you not love someone who always makes your day? With only a smile on her face. Someone who brings you up, when your down. Around her I’ll never have a frown. She’s my everything and so much more. I try every single day to love her more, every single inch of my heart is filled with her lovely grace. Me and her will always be great πŸ’—πŸ™ŒπŸ»

  

Then I’ll be me ..Β 

        I really like this boy and he’s always on my mind but sometimes that’s not enough to make him stay in my life. This time I’m going to take my time to get to know the real him. See if he’s right for me, see if I can handle all his flaws. See if he can handle me and how tough I can be. 

        I’m going to show him my crazy, so he can knows what’s expected. Show him my cool, have him feeling brand new. Me? I’m someone you hardly see. Out of this world, you ain’t never met another me. I put myself first until I see your worth. 

       I have a wonderful little me. You’ll love her like you will love me. I’m independent, I cook and clean. Perfect female to have on your team. But you know what, enough of me. You be you, then I’ll be me. 

Then I’ll be me ..Β 

πŸ’”

How can you just wake up next to somebody new one day a forget about who used to go to sleep every night next to you πŸ’” You left her when she needed you the most . You just walked out and every now and then you pretend to care but we all know you really don’t . I swear I lost all hope , because you men are another species . It hurts because I know I can try but I will never be able to fill in that hole . The hole that you have dented into our child . She use to wake up every day and go to sleep every night looking at your face, this nigga is a disgrace . I hurt because I know one day she will be so confused , and question if your love was ever true. I hurt because I can play both roles but it won’t ever be enough and sooner than later she will feel one day like she was never enough. Enough to make you stay . But that’s when I’ll look her in the face and let her know it isn’t true , I’ll let my princess know that it isn’t her it was YOU. You were the piece of garbage that I gave my heart to and try to repair, you are the disappointment of a life time. And and you will regret it one day as you see watch from a distance her life go by πŸ’– Next to me right where I’ll be , being both mommy and daddy. I’ll have her all for me and I wish there was much more cause my child right there is worth more than a pot of gold πŸ˜”πŸ™ŒπŸ»

πŸ’”

My daughter is like my Bestfriend πŸ’— because every time I’m down she brings up. Every time I cry I look at her and she eases my pain. Every single day she heals my heart of all the unnecessary pain, because she is my happiness & the only person I will ever need. When you have a kid they should be everything to you because she is everything to me πŸ‘­πŸ’—       

  

Best love of all πŸ’˜

Your never too young to know what love is. Your never too young to be in love and all that ain’t just for grown ups. We feel it too, yeah we know love. I remember my first heartbreak, thought I loved the kid that was just my mind playing games. He got another chick pregnant while messing with me. Thank god I didn’t open my legs and let him do as he pleased πŸ’― He found that somewhere else, it’s whatever tho. Moved on in my life and let that pain go. A couple years later when I was more mature, after all the ex boys who I never seem to understood . I finally found someone who I have waited for. Everything was perfect straight from the jump, I really thought he was always gonna be the one. He was the first guy whoever took me on a date, he brought me my first flowers had me feeling so amazed. He gave me something no one has ever given me before, he taught me how a lady was suppose to be treated and so much more. He took away the thing that was most precious to me, my virginity. I was young and in love to me that meant everything. That perfect story did come to an end when the guy who I thought was the perfect men played a big number on me. So I it did right back and that’s the day I started to cheat πŸ’― and I was so upset I did it on purpose tho, I told him straight in his face and then he thought I was a “hoe” . That’s when I became a player tho 😭 . These niggas thought they had hoes? That’s funny yo. After that heartbreak my love was never the same till she came my way. After being hurt by all these different niggas who would of thought I would of found what I was longing for the most. A love so out of this world fit into this perfect little girl, It was just a blind date didn’t know what I was looking towards . I was desperately waiting 9 months to meet my heart and soul πŸ’— I had the date December 12, 2014 engraved in my mind waiting for the time, she would be next to me. She wasn’t far tho, I kinda saw her every time I looked down at my feet . December 4th came , earlier then I expected and that’s the day my heart grew so unexpected. Made all the space to love you and to give you the world on a platter. Now every night I go to sleep with who I truly believe is my true soulmate. So do I believe in love? All I do is have to look at her face . 
-For my princess πŸ’— Alayna Eryn Diaz

Best love of all πŸ’˜